The Role of Respect in Loving Leadership
I've been pondering respect as a facet of love in my writing. And in the community at the Center for a Loving Workplace, we're exploring respect this fall too. This feels timely given our struggles with respect in social media, on the roadways, among neighbors, in politics…everywhere.
Respect is often identified as a core value by individuals as well as by teams or organizations. And, I've learned through numerous discussions and facilitations that “respect” means wildly different things to different people.
People will declare, “Every human being deserves fundamental respect!” as often as others will say, “A person has to earn my respect!” These two views hint at links to dignity or to trust and honor, each a different type of respect.
For some, invoking respect feels positive and uplifting while for others “respect” triggers traumatic memories of deference demanded from them under threat.
Discussions of what respect looks like in action vary from person to person too, informed by culture, preference, life experiences, other values, and more.
All this reminds us that when, as a part of strategic or business planning, we host a discussion to identify team values, we need to do so with the utmost care. Not out of fear of making a mistake, but out of loving care for our team members involved, mindful that words both make and reflect worlds. And there is no right way to understand a word or a value.
Leading with empathy and compassion means holding open space for each other, not blindly assuming our own definitions. Instead we make it safe and expected that we will understand each person's views, honoring the outlier, and finding what resonates for all not just most.
