Gender Equality Month: Reflecting On Humanity
Take a deep breath, fill your lungs to their capacity, feel it deep within your belly, allowing your chest to surge forward and your shoulders to retreat. As you exhale, envision the activities and people who bring you the most joy and happiness. Hear the conversations and laughter, see the glow of their passionate presence.
Take another breath and reflect on how freeing it feels to be able to experience that joy and happiness across numerous activities, with the people of your choosing. As you exhale again, see and feel an activity taken away, followed by another taken away. Then hear the silence as you are no longer able to interact freely in public spaces with the people who bring you joy. Unable to engage in activities, unable to share time with friends; instead, you return to a workplace where you are compensated differently than your peers doing the same role or into a learning environment where opportunities are limited.
Now ask yourself, how is this the humanity we embrace?
Understanding Equality, Gender, and Context
Conversations, both professionally and personally around equality tend to take us down long and winding roads leading us to question, what is meant by equality? In addition, we have also had to grapple with what is meant by gender. For further exploration, I will also bring equity and justice into the mix.
Equality is sometimes viewed as ensuring everyone has equal access to opportunities and resources, while also being confused with everyone should have all the same outcomes. Through understanding that not everyone starts off from the same point, we bring in equity to address specific needs in identifying, navigating, or removing barriers that hinder access for various groups or individuals. Finally, we seek justice, where the systems and structures provide balanced access. For this to occur, barriers are either removed or the navigation of these barriers is laid out in ways that embrace the complex needs of our humanity.
According to the World Health Organization, gender refers to characteristics attributed to being identified as male or female. Additionally, these characteristics may vary over time and across cultures where individuals may identify in a binary context as male or female or non-binary as common or neutral.
Gender is often one of several immutable facets which make up our identity. Immutable speaks to a characteristic that is typically unable to be hidden or is clearly visible, as is the case with skin color or a physical disability. Our immutable facets are those which we may immediately be judged by and may provide us with or deny us access, which brings us back to equality. Gender discrimination occurs when a person or group of people are denied access or their voices are marginalized based solely on their gender identity.
For context, I am writing this blog from the perspective of a person who identifies as an African American male in American society during a time of heightened awareness and stress around equality. It may be challenging to fully portray gender inequality as someone who would not typically be subject to gender discrimination in the scope of wage gaps, societal roles attached to gender, and the prevalence of one gender identity in key leadership roles. I will; however, communicate how gender inequality impacts our humanity in ways seldom discussed.
My focus will be on three areas where we can work to promote equality regardless of gender identity. The three key areas where we can make or advocate for change are in the classroom, our workspaces, and in our interpersonal relationships.
Gender Equality in the Classroom
When I was in school, most conversations about gender revolved around boys in blue, girls in pink. Blue was strong, pink was weak. Young boys may have heard common phrases like, “boys don’t cry”, “man up”, or “don’t be such a girl”. These comments feed directly into what has been identified as toxic masculinity. One aspect of toxic masculinity is the belief that it is wrong for males to express or talk about their feelings. This can easily lead to another mindset in which expressing feelings is not the only “improper” behavior for males, but rather anything that is associated with being female is wrong. These mindsets and behaviors limit our ability to show up as fully human.
Regarding activities, shop classes and athletics were predominantly male spaces, while typing, cooking, and cheerleading were female spaces. This left no room for someone who did not identify strongly with either group and it forced children to “pick a side”. A boy cheerleader was unheard of and would have been heavily teased, a girl wanting to play football would have been identified as a ‘tomboy’ and equally teased.
In the past several years, I have seen schools work to become more welcoming and supportive spaces. Policies are in place to communicate gender-inclusive practices. The policies ensure that opportunities are provided to all students regardless of gender and that students are not denied access because of their gender.
How do we get better? Action in this space involves:
Working to encourage all students to participate in a wide range of academic, athletic, and vocational programs and clubs.
Providing knowledge in life skills to manage a home for all students.
Encouraging communication of emotions and feelings from all kids to promote social-emotional well-being.
These skills will support all students in being able to live healthy productive lives and it reduces the likelihood that a student would rely on others as their only means for navigating life.
Gender Equality in Workspaces
Similar to some classroom environments, workspaces often have roles that demonstrate gender inequality. Reflect on your workspaces and recall the names and faces of the receptionists. How does this compare to the maintenance team? What about supervisors and directors, whose name is on the check, or who owns the company? An observer may ask, in binary-leaning conversation, why aren’t the roles split 50/50 if there is a fairly equal distribution of men and women in the world? When we add non-binary, the question becomes deeper due to a singular gender identity not always being visible.
Beyond the conversations we may be more accustomed to, gender inequality in the workplace and beyond shows up in how we are or are not able to express ourselves. An assertive leader may be viewed differently based on their gender identity. As a male, I can speak to having been in positions where asking for help meant vulnerability. Vulnerability, uncertainty, and delayed action for processing were viewed as signs of weakness and responded to with comments ranging from vulgar to emasculating. Meanwhile, a female counterpart displaying confidence and strength may be responded to similarly with vulgar and dehumanizing comments. These attitudes and actions minimize our humanity and ability to show up authentically.
As with schools, a number of workspaces have shifted to become more inclusive. Companies have enacted practices around recruitment, hiring, retention, and support. Professional development often includes culturally responsive practices which move beyond ethnicity into realms of sexual orientation and gender identity along with other facets of our identity. Each of these help to promote awareness in workspaces to address gender equality.
How do we get better? Action in this space involves:
Moving beyond awareness into ensuring equal pay for equal roles and responsibilities.
Providing livable wages for positions that tend to be gender-oriented.
Providing a structure for promotion and professional growth to increase access to financial opportunities.
Normalizing asking for help and communicating challenges.
Creating opportunities for people to connect in ways that support improved understanding of one another.
Gender Equality in Reflection and Interpersonal Relationships
Change often begins in the smallest of spaces. This is where our own reflection and interpersonal relationships are crucial. Take a moment to reflect on your life journey. Have you ever been viewed a certain way or assigned a role based on your gender? An example of this amongst our family and friends could include being selected for a particular physical activity or being asked to complete a specific chore. Though I did not identify a certain gender in the last statement, perhaps you subconsciously filled one in for yourself. Reflect on why you may have inherently seen gender where it was not presented.
How do we get better? Action in this space involves:
Being aware and reflective of how roles are assigned, how tasks are delegated, and what behavior is modeled for those being served.
Taking time to get to know people and their passions.
Showing up with authenticity, speaking your truth, and listening to the truths of others.
This will help to ensure that people are working within their talent as opposed to being boxed in by their gender identity. Interpersonal relationships also extend into our family and friends circles. Listen, observe, and ensure that children and partners are able to access opportunities that feed their interests.
Embracing Humanity
Recently, I have had several opportunities to engage with male colleagues in work and networking spaces around our emotional well-being. We have talked about how we feel about events in our society, our families, and our friends, as well as our long and short-term goals. Some of these conversations were met with tears, deep sighs, the typical “bro-hugs”, and even some real hugs. Our connection and ability to show up for ourselves and embrace each other have been greatly deepened.
Becoming aware of ourselves and others serves to identify, provide, and pursue pathways that ignite our passions. When we take those deep breaths in, we can be more assured that we are where we are meant to be. When we breathe out, we can be more assured that those around us are not denied opportunity and can be secure in who they are. Creating spaces of equality where each person has access to opportunity is the humanity that we need to embrace.
