The Inner Labs and Well-being
For the past year, three of us at A Human Workplace formed Light Labs where we gather to contemplate and write about the ins and outs of loving leadership. It turned out there were a lot more ins than outs in that process. We wrote about the ins that enable us and the ins that block us from being loving leaders. From being love itself.
What emerged from this process is the Inner Labs, a loving place for connection, calm, and contemplation. I can tell you now, I learnt a lot more about myself in that than in any other development process.
One of the key things I learnt is how to better take care of myself. That's after I re-learnt that it is important to take care of myself.
So, I have been reading back through the pages in the Inner Labs to share some of what emerged for me. Why? Because, everywhere I look, I see a lack of self-care at the core of leadership. Well-being is at the top of the agenda for HR, People, and Culture leaders right now. It’s at the top of the priority list for many of us. And still, it's often a misunderstood term.
What is well-being?
My colleague at the Labs, Jennifer McDowell has taught me to seek the meaning behind the words. Because of her inspiration, I went to look at the etymology of the term “well-being.” Join me in geeking out for a moment!
“Well-being” was first used in 1610s, and comes from the adjective well + gerundive of be. (Fun grammar fact: “Gerundive” is a verb that can also act as a noun.) “Well” from Proto-Indo-European (PIE) root wel was 'to wish'. It also meant 'abundantly', 'in satisfactory manner' and 'with good reason.’ “Be” from PIE root bheue is 'to be, exist, grow'.
“Well-being is to continuously grow the feeling of enough-ness.”
There it was. The reason why this term “well-being” is still so confusing. It's a contradiction by definition. How can we identify a 'satisfactory' state of being that's the same for all? Especially when so many of our work cultures are built on the premise of us being 'not good enough.’ How can we take care of ourselves but with good reason?
The meaning I take forward is 'well-being is to continuously grow the feeling of enough-ness'. It's a healing process. It's an action. To cultivate well-being is to develop an ever-greater sense of enough-ness with one’s self and seeing the enough-ness in others.
It's through that Inner Labs process that I started to cultivate that inner state. I started to understand the intention behind my own well-being and a core belief that the innate, vital, pure expression of us is love.
Knowing better doesn't mean we can do better, but we can narrow the gap
I still struggle with the fact that having knowledge doesn’t mean I can use that knowledge each time I need to. Our capacity to be present impacts how much of our inner wisdom we tap into. I’ll give you some examples…
We know that the more time we spend sitting down, the worse for our bodies. Yet it's not uncommon for many of us to spend ten hours sitting at our desks working.
We know that we were short with our team members because we slept poorly last night. Yet we still settle for another working night in front of our screen.
We know that project isn't going well but we have no capacity to think creatively about how to change its trajectory. Or even ask for help. So, we continue on that same path saying nothing.
As I looked through the pages of my Inner Labs reflections - I saw many similar stories.
I looked closer and wondered: What would it take to narrow the gap between intention and action? Between knowing and embodying that knowledge?
The answer was the Inner Labs experience itself - in taking the time to pause and notice what’s present.
Even when I didn't have the capacity to take the right action, I always had the capacity to pause. Yes, it was that simple. By doing nothing, everything began to happen.
“Our capacity to be present impacts how much of our inner wisdom we tap into. ”
But when do we take the time to do nothing? When do we enter a room, a meeting, a conversation with no expectations apart from to meet the present moment?
My Inner Labs journey was a process of unlearning decades of the bi-product of the hustle culture I was brought up in. And I know I am not alone. To learn and prioritise well-being means to prioritise sitting still, seeing, and feeling. It means attending to the parts of us that are well and to the parts that are not well.
Well-being through connection
One of the reasons the Inner Labs works is because of the container that we generate in community. It’s phenomenal really that though miles and miles away, in 3 different time zones, we create safety and belonging that some teams struggle to create in the same room.
I re-learnt how much good can emerge with a shared experience around a common goal. And how much more healing is necessary from the damaging social norms that I’ve been trained to uphold in the past. For well-being to continuously be a priority, we need to be in it together. Really together. The kind of together where you can say ‘I am not ok today.’ and be able to sit in the silence that follows. No fixing, just witnessing. The kind of together where there is no place for guilt when things are unfinished because you all trust you’ll get to them, if they are important. The kind of together where when one person loses their voice because of a cold, the other joins them in the silence. And you get to have a silent meeting, creating mind maps, writing, and drawing.
Well-being through connection means that when I step into my own value, I see more clearly the value of others.
Wholeheartedly,
Lili
PS: If this resonates for you, if you want to grow well-being that is a sense of “enough-ness” as a leader or on your team, please email Lili at lili@makeworkmorehuman.com to join an Inner Labs experience. One person described their experience this way, “Healing our reconnection to Self and Community is the practice of tending to the embers of a fire, breathing soft oxygen onto it, so that it never goes out.”
