Teaching Future Generations About Loving Leadership
I stood at the front of the room at DECA’s Western Region Leadership Conference in Bellevue.
Ever heard of DECA? Distributed Education Clubs of America prepare 258,000 emerging leaders and entrepreneurs in high school and college to gain leadership and business skills through instruction and real world experiences in nearly 4200 high school and college clubs.
The deep, cavernous room quickly filled with 50+ students at round tables. I had no mic, and it was after lunch.
Time to bring energy to engage them in talking about putting love, not fear, at the center of work, of course!
This bright, thoughtful, diverse group of students was ready!
First, we talked about fear. How threats create a fear response in our brains and bodies, the harmful impacts of fear on people and on organizations, that fear doesn’t produce sustained business results.
When I describe fears that come from change, betrayal, shame, isolation, harassment and discrimination, these students attested to the harm done and the frustration of not being able to do your best when you fear of failure, rejection, face angry customers, make mistakes, feel overwhelmed by the workload and more.
When I talked about love, these students didn't struggle or hesitate to come up with examples. They easily shared stories of loving experiences at work and at school connecting love to inclusion, respect, belief, confidence, support, and more.
Several students described a Resource Officer at their school who made a point to know the name of every student and something about them, to greet them and engage with them each day. They knew this was love. These loving actions mirror some of the ways my research participants describe Loving Leaders and Loving Teams.
At the end, I asked the group to raise their hands if:
If they had participated in Social-Emotional Learning or Whole Child programs
If they were taught mindfulness or meditation for resilience,
If they engaged in peer coaching,
If they learned mental health information and skills,
If they participated in kindness or anti-bullying programs.
Every student raised their hands.
The skills and knowledge they’ve learned in these programs are directly connected to putting love instead of fear at the center of the workplace.
The skills for self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, relationship skills, well-being, inclusion, and responsible decision-making are essential human skills needed by leaders and team members in business.
These programs are good preparation for leadership. I encouraged them to hold on to what they know to be true about treating people with care, kindness, and humanity. Their loving, human instincts are right on.
But here's the other thing I had to clue them in on: Older generations leading workplaces right now did not learn these skills in school. They did not learn to lead this way. Often they learned the opposite. They learned threat and fear-based leadership based on industrial era thinking. They learned to be tough on people. They learned to make people “pay their dues” to be accepted and to pressure for performance.
This is why I have a job: to help the current generation of leaders and teams unlearn those bad habits and assumptions and learn new ways of leading and working.
Meanwhile, younger employees and young leaders should not be confused or lose heart. We need to encourage them not to be sucked into this fear-based model of leadership because it doesn't get results.
Eventually, it will be their turn. They will have the chance to bring what they know about respect, dignity, acceptance, compassion, and love for people to their leadership and to their teams. And that will serve people and their organizations well.
Are you working with Gen Z now?
I encourage you to tap into the experiences and learning they’ve had in the human-centered programs and learning they had in their education. Model loving leadership to them and invite them to be part of humanizing the workplace with love at the center of work.
That’s Loving Leadership.
