It’s Time to Thrive

I looked out at the room of 60 people assembled for a conference workshop on how to thrive at work.

They were from all over the country from many different backgrounds and identities. While they worked in the same general field, their roles represented leaders, managers, and individual contributors of different kinds. All appeared cheerful and energized as folks do at a conference, away from the day-to-day routine, happily connecting with people face to face in a new city with permission to forget about the “to-do list” for a few days. I’d just given a keynote on Love they’d received warmly so it’s fair to say there was a lot of oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin flowing too!

But I was about to turn them toward the challenges they face, to ask them to touch into the realities of their work. I didn’t want to be the killjoy at the party, but it was important they discovered they weren’t alone in the struggle as part of the solution.

This is a feature of struggling, isn’t it? When we are under stress and burning out, we often withdraw to cope. In our isolation, we assume that something must be wrong with us, that the problem is us. Shame and fear invade our self-talk. Looking out at the group, I knew they needed to know that they weren’t alone.

Most of Us

How did I know this? Because a staggering 89% of us experienced symptoms of burnout in the last year, and significantly 85% of us are disengaged. That’s almost all of us. And yet, we will often go through these experiences mostly alone awash in self-condemnation. This makes it challenging to work effectively, build trust, collaborate, communicate, and our goals.

In the workshop, I began by helping them bridge the unseen chasm of isolation building trust and meaningful connection right there in the room. We created the context for them to speak their truth, to bring their authentic selves, and to listen to and believe each other.

Describing the kinds of struggles we see in organizations, we explore the time pressures, overwhelm, and urgency, the inadequate staffing, burdensome processes, and heavy structures, the distrust, communication breakdowns, and historic trauma, and the lack of empathy, compassion, and recognition. Was this familiar? Yes. Universal nods, hands raised; examples shared with each other. How about you? Is this familiar to you?

And then I shared the other thing we see universally: A longing to thrive.

That deep pull to flourish, to grow and develop. To be mentally, physically, emotionally, and socially healthy. The workshop participants leaned in, affirming yes, that’s what we are longing for too.

We explored a model for thriving. An assessment revealed to each participant which qualities they were longing for most. For some, it was clarity, for others wholeness. While still others were seeking spaciousness, simplicity, courage, or hope. As you read those qualities, notice which you are drawn to. What difference might these make in your work?

Here’s what I know about creating a sense of thriving.

It cannot be created by resilience and wellness programs that merely try to offset the stress. As a 2022 McKinsey Health Institute Study on employee burnout points out, true thriving comes when we change the way we operate, when we:

• Strengthen psychological safety

• Actively work to decrease toxic behaviors

• Create inclusion

• Are supported to learn

• Have a manageable workload

Sure we need resilience and wellness practices to support us in processing the normal kinds of stressors that come from being human. AND we need to create work environments that are not toxic, fearful, overwhelming, or exclusionary experiences in the first place. But instead, we create environments characterized by safety, respect, trust, belonging, appreciation, and growth. When I talk about eliminating fear and replacing it with love, this is what I mean.  

Less fear and more love create an environment of thriving.

There’s a lot more to unpack here and we will in the weeks ahead. For today, here are some simple actions anyone can take to support a more loving, thriving environment:

Demonstrate value for each other.

Greet each other. Look colleagues in the eye. Give your full attention. Show up to commitments. Learn, correctly pronounce, and use peoples’ names. Say “Thank you” a lot.

Invest in building relationships.

Check-in as people: “How are you really today? What’s on top for you?” Get to know each other as people. Respect styles and preferences. Celebrate together. Share food.

Create trust and belonging.

Track and talk about wins and successes. Give credit. Express appreciation. Pitch in. Follow through. Practice listening to understand. Value differences.

Work through challenges.

Assume positive intent AND own impact. Don’t triangulate. Work out issues directly. When trust is broken, work to repair trust. Apologize if you are responsible. Forgive.

In the workshop, the relief was tangible for many as they found common human connection, and made plans to take away for thriving. We circled up as is my practice, in this case, a circle of 60, and shared one word for how we were leaving.

Their most common word? Hope.

My word? Joy.

I want to acknowledge, appreciate, and send love to my colleague Faith Addicott for her insights and work on Thriving and our Thrive Assessment, as well as her commitment to helping others out of oppression and into freedom and joy.

I share more on To Work: With Love a NEW series airing on the Gut + Science leadership podcast. Take a listen to my Love: A Workplace Value episode HERE.

If you’d like to take a Thrive Self-Assessment, email me at Renee@MakeWorkMoreHuman.com

And if you want to talk about real strategies to address burnout, contact us here.