Helping Them Find the Way
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———————————————————————————————————————————————————-It's 2021 and I’m at a virtual workshop as part of an international conference. I meet a communications executive from a well-known, well-connected, well-resourced non-profit organization in the US. He wants to know more about my work so we schedule a time to meet. I do some research and learn they have several projects clearly related to making work more loving and human.
When we get on Zoom, he shares first, describing the work they were doing, and I grow excited because the connections and possibilities are so obvious. Perhaps this is the breakthrough that will help accelerate our impact and expand our reach!
Next I describe my research on love and fear, my insights, writing, speaking, workshops, vision for impacting workplaces and by extension, communities and families. But after I share, he looks at me impassively, “That’s interesting, but I just don’t see the connection between our work and yours.”
“You don’t see it?” I repeat, a little dumbfounded. I think, “Really?” I try again to make what is so obvious to me more clear to him.
But after a few minutes, reading his body language, it dawns on me.
He is not interested in seeing. He is interested in NOT seeing. He is gatekeeping.
Now it is entirely possible that there is some frame, or lens, or structure I am missing. And if I used it, it would be a more elegant bridge to his world. But if there is, he never lets on. He never divulges those secrets. His club is safe from me. We end the call.
I'm disheartened at first, but I believe everything happens for a reason. That was obviously not the right relationship to be in!
I grew to appreciate that this happened to remind me of the opportunity we have as Loving Leaders to make a difference for people trying to find their way.
I bet you know what I mean. As leaders, we meet people all the time who are trying to figure out what their next step is to progress in their career or project or business or role. They may be confused, trying hard, maybe emphasizing the wrong things. They may be missing a skill or a vantage point. We may see what they are doing, and not doing. We may know what would help them bridge from where they are to where they want to be.
We can help! It might sound like this:
“You have a great idea…you are doing well…I can see how this would be helpful. What will help if for you to put it in this format and answer these questions. Come back ready to talk about it this way. Bring it to this person; I'll make an introduction. This is the next conversation you want to have and here are the key points to emphasize.”
It is damn frustrating to know you have value to share, but to realize there is something you don't know that's essential and to have those insights withheld.
Conversely, isn't it a joy to help someone find their way? That loving kindness, noticing, caring, helping, is fantastic energy to bring into 2025!
Goodness knows we need such energy to uplift each other, along with new ideas, fresh perspectives, and better solutions to so many problems! We can be the Loving Leaders who open gates for others to come in.
Better yet, we can take down the gates! There’s plenty of room for everyone.
Do you have a story of a time when you helped someone to find their way or when someone helped you? What happened? What impact did this have? What did it mean to you? I'd love to hear your stories!
