Facing the Questions

“Courage doesn’t happen when you have all the answers. It happens when you are ready to face the questions you have been avoiding your whole life.”   -  Shannon L. Alder

The questions I've been avoiding my whole life.
Oh, THOSE questions.
Gulp.
My throat catches and my stomach sinks at the thought of them, and yet these physical responses tell me I'm on the edge of something true, something important.

It is easy to fake ourselves out by searching for answers on solid ground.
The answers we find there will be predictable and safe to the status quo and our self-concept.
But in still moments when we are honest with ourselves, we know this isn't enough.
Perfection will never arrive.
Instead, if we turn away from the false hope of solidity and leap in, we will discover something more real in the ambiguity.

Sometimes we jump off the edge of our own free will.
And other times, life gives us a big push.
Either way, if we resist, we contort and belly-flop. But if we turn toward the questions with openness and vulnerability, we just might swan diving into inquiry.

Years ago I was moving through life finding ways to pretend an ugly part of myself didn't exist. This part lingered in the shadows and I ignored deeper questions that would have brought illumination. I went along that way until the shadow cast beyond family and to a neighbor, and then I couldn't avoid it any longer. I was thrown off the cliff of my own sureness and into cold, sobering seas to face the questions I'd avoided. That water was cold, dark, lonely, and biting. But facing those questions and their painful answers ultimately helped me to grow, to stop harming with my certainty, and perhaps, I hope, to be more useful to the world.

What I know is this: If I had not faced those questions, I'd still be causing harm.

To paraphrase Alder, "Courage happened when I faced the questions I had been avoiding my whole life."

How about you?
Have you faced your shadow with courage?
Did you dive into your questions?
What courage are you living right now?

I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences. In fact, we are focusing as a community on courage during April and May. If you have a story to share, please reach out to me at Renee@MakeWorkMoreHuman.com.

And join us for our monthly Global Gatherings on April 20, 2021, and May 19, 2020, to explore courage!