The Surprising Thing Many Loving Teams Have in Common

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Something jumps out in my loving workplace interviews when people describe their loving team experiences.

Food. 

It turns out that loving teams eat a lot of food together! Trusting and happy teams enjoy potlucks, going for coffee, eating lunch together, celebrating birthday meals, and sharing homemade treats.

You might wonder, “Are they trusting and happy because they eat together? Or do they eat together because they are trusting and happy?”

Analysis by researcher RIM Dunbar suggests that eating together forges bonds rather than the other way around. (Breaking Bread: the Functions of Social Eating, 2017) 

And the good people who produced Gallup’s recent World Happiness Report (p. 61) believe it's likely there’s a bi-directional relationship between sharing meals and happiness. 

Given the high levels of loneliness and harm it causes in Western society (worse than smoking 15 cigarettes a day), we would do well for our happiness and for that of others if we “seize the meal” and intentionally plan to eat with others more often.

We can certainly do that personally.

Meet up with friends.

Invite people over.

Host a neighborhood potluck.

Schedule and honor family meal time if you live with others.

All these are good moves to improve the amount of social eating in your life.

And, Loving Leaders and Loving Team members, because work is a primary place where we are with others, the workplace offers a natural opportunity to encourage more social eating which can positively impact people.

I’m going to geek out on some numbers for a moment so follow me to see the potential this has.

If an individual in the West eats 1095 meals a year (3 meals/day X 365 days/year), then eating lunch with co-workers once a week represents about 5% of the meals in a year, eating together twice a week is almost 10%, and socially eating five lunches every workday represents about 22% of total meals.

Even at the weekly level, THAT represents a meaningful potential impact to happiness. Such positive influence would undoubtedly benefit their families and communities when people leave work happier, not to mention your team's results.

And since roughly 16% of working age people live alone, social eating at work has the potential to positively impact a population especially susceptible to the impacts of isolation and loneliness. 

Should you mandate such lunchtime social eating?

For heaven sakes, no!

Should you stigmatize those who don’t choose to join in?

Please be sure this doesn't happen. 

But you can thoughtfully and openly bring this information and opportunity to your team, discuss preferences, and encourage your team to decide how they want to support more social eating in the way that makes sense to them. 

“Hey I read about this…seems like we have an opportunity…I don't want it to be weird or create pressure…I do want to encourage us to shape our time together to be uplifting and beneficial. We probably have different preferences. What options can we co-create and try?” 

Carefully guide this conversation to be respectful of differing views from those who are introverted or who have dietary restrictions based on religious views, for example.

Social eating can be just one of many ways to improve connection and happiness. 

As you learn about social trends like loneliness and their consequences, remember, you can shape the direction of these trends. Your decisions today as a leader or a team member, as a family member or a neighbor, can counter current trends to create a different future. 

Start by inviting someone to pull up a chair and join you for lunch!