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Is it really possible to create a way of working based on love not fear? Yes. It’s not only possible. It’s essential. Learn more from this collection of more than 100 posts to inspire and guide you.
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Help Stop the Harm
Workplace traumas are dehumanizing and can be all-consuming. The suffering caused by abusive, fearful workplaces is enormous. We must rise up and decide enough is enough. We must stop the harm. It’s time to set a new standard, to expect something more of ourselves, for ourselves and for each other. Instead, it is time to expect and create workplaces characterized by love. We must make trust, respect, empathy, compassion, and belonging the standard. We don’t have any time to lose.
Can't A Little Fear Be A Good Thing?
Exploring when and how fear can actually be a good thing. As a natural human response, it’s important that we understand when fear occurs, what it does to us, and how we can use its helpful benefits when appropriate.
It’s time
On March 3rd I woke up and everything had changed. The day before was my last day as Director of Workplace Transformation for Washington State. For the first time in years, I had just one role, one email account, one website, one newsletter, one calendar, one computer, one cell phone, one team, and one coherent, clear purpose: To make work more loving and human around the world.
Everywhere I go: in a workshop in Barcelona.
Amor.” This word surprised the group of 30 people from the Lean construction community gathered for a workshop at the Catalonia Institute for Construction Technology (iTeC) in Barcelona where I was on holiday. “Amor.” A ripple of smiles and happy murmurs moved through the room when I said the answer to fear at work is love.
Everywhere I go: I rideshare
In my research interviews on fear and love in the workplace, people often said their fear experience increased their commitment to NOT leading with fear but instead leading with care, respect, trust, empathy and so on. In other words, their fear experience increased their commitment to never doing that to anyone else and instead leading with love.
Do I have to say “love”?
Organizations and teams choose the words that resonate for them. Sometimes that word is “love” and sometimes it is a synonym like care, trust, respect, belonging, inclusion, empathy, compassion, or forgiveness, but always it is more human.
Everywhere I go: on a train from Nice to Ventimiglia
The 2nd class train from Nice, France, to Ventimiglia, Italy, is overflowing on this sunny weekday morning in September. Commuters heading to work mix with tourists like me on holiday. Luggage fills the aisles. Children sit on laps. Passengers stand in the vestibule between cars, sweaty and crowded.
Everywhere I go: in a café at work
When I was consulting to the US Army, I worked under a wonderful General. He was a humble, wise leader who treated people well. Even though I was just a contractor, he demonstrated that he valued me and my work. He gave me support, opportunities to grow, and recognition when I did well. Shortly after I left, he deployed to Afghanistan.
Everywhere I go: an airplane
Seated next to me on the airplane last week on a flight to Salt Lake City was Glenn, a friendly, talkative dentist from Alaska. He was headed to a dental conference while I was going to Park City to spend the weekend in conversation with friends exploring humanity at the center of our work.
Everywhere I go: in my backyard in Tacoma
Friends gathered in my backyard in Tacoma on a warm summer Sunday evening to enjoy dinner and catch up on life. Tom* retired in June from a thirty year elementary school teaching career, and Patty retired from teaching college just two years ago.
Everywhere I go: in Seattle at JuneBaby (Part 1)
Sitting at the counter eating at JuneBaby in Seattle, I chat with the young couple visiting from Connecticut next to me. When he learns about my love not fear work, he lights up and shares the street art of 5ivefingaz and Love More Than Ever. So much to love there! Check it out!
Everywhere I go: in Seattle at JuneBaby (Part 2)
Sitting on the other side of me at the counter of June Baby, I chat with a young Black woman vacationing in the beautiful PNW. She asks what I do, and when I tell her I advocate for more love and less fear in the workplace, she responds, “Oh wow. We need that in healthcare! The healthcare system that I work in is so full of fear and intimidation.”
Something’s happening
But we flourish when we are loved at work. We feel loved when we know our leaders care about us. We feel loved when our teams are like families and when we are supported during hard times. Every one of us. And then we do and give our best to our team and to our customers.
A love story about work: caring for Cindy during cancer
During these initial days after her diagnosis, Cindy’s leader and team were there for her in all kinds of practical ways. They helped her arrange transportation, fill out paperwork, and apply for FMLA. They helped her navigate it all. And as her situation unfolded, they continued to help.
Three ways to decrease fear and increase love at work
No one wakes up in the morning, bounces out of bed, and eagerly declares, “I can’t wait to be ignored today! I hope my work doesn’t matter to anyone. I’m going in early because I’m not making a difference. Since no one cares about my work I am going after solving that really tough problem.”
That bell tolls for you.
I invite you to slow down from the frantic pursuit of productivity and performance for ten minutes to read a portion of Donne’s writing. Don’t worry; it’s not too long. But as with any masterpiece, his words will linger and return with questions and illumination later if we take a little time to consider them.
Vito's story
I’d never met Vito before, but he was the first to respond to a Linked In invitation to join a small group of men in the Bay Area as part of my research. Friendly but hesitant when he arrived, Vito was ‘California comfortable’ in a breezy cotton striped shirt, but slightly uncomfortable on some yet-to-be discerned level as we introduced ourselves, met the other two participants, and poured coffee.
What about accountability?
Whenever I talk with people about the need to eliminate fear and indifference and increase love and safety in the workplace someone inevitably brings up the question of accountability. And when they do, others nod their heads in agreement and concern.
Harmful fear: eliminate it this year!
Workplace fear is an all too common experience. Talk to almost anyone willing to be candid and they can tell you about a time, either past or present, of harmful fear at work. Those with fears in the past may still experience a kind of post traumatic stress disorder over it.
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